(Here is my suggestion for Big Brother 8.  It might be a little wishful thinking, but a boy can dream, can't he?)

In an alternate universe where Big Brother 8: World All-Stars is the most important and popular television show to ever grace the planet earth AND the prize money is akin to winning the lottery (let's say $80 million) AND I am the President of CBS AND any person currently alive is completely willing to drop everything and enter the Big Brother house for an indeterminate period of time AND the world has adopted one common language, negating all translation issues AND it was my goal, as President of CBS, to create the most interesting, drama-filled house in BB history THEN these would be my top twelve picks for the ultimate, world-wide version of Big Brother.

Michael Jackson (Pop Star)

Can you imagine the levels of weirdness we could reach by having a camera on MJ 24/7? Would he interact with anybody or just hide in really odd places? Would he write inspirational songs about the house challenges? Would his face melt during outdoor lockdowns? The possibilities are endless.

Ann Coulter (Political Pundit)

Certified crazy person and radically right-wing pundit, Coulter would stir it up. Here's an example of her insanity; she posted this on her website a couple Christmases ago, “To The People Of Islam: Just think: If we'd invaded your countries, killed your leaders and converted you to Christianity YOU'D ALL BE OPENING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS RIGHT ABOUT NOW! Merry Christmas.”

What a sweetheart.

Ichiro Suzuki (Baseball Player)

Not only is Ichiro one of the coolest men alive, he is also wise beyond his years. Take this quote: “Even if there are things that become stressful, I think they’re interesting. Isn’t it because of those things that I am to be struck by the significance of being alive?”

I don't even know what that means, but it sounds profound.  Ichiro would be unstoppable in any athletic challenge, but his pride probably wouldn't allow him to lie and scheme.  This may cost him. 

Courtney Love (Nothing)

I can't think a bigger wild-card than a delusional, drug-addled, scantily-clad, former rock Goddess who likes to wax poetic about obscure 1960's psychadelic rock bands. Also, she'd get blacked out anytime alcohol is served and probably hook up with everyone in the house. 

Kim Jong-Il (Brutal Dictator)

Would he wear his little green suit and big glasses? How would he fare in the challenges? After all, he did hit 15 hole-in-ones the first time he ever played golf.  Reality TV competitors are often known for thei inflated egos, but nothing could ever compete with egomania of Jong-Il. 

John Daly (PGA Golfer)

An overweight professional athlete, self-proclaimed alcoholic, degenerate gambler and amateur, untalented singer-songwriter, John Daly is one of those rare personalities that makes you love him while he destroys his body and his life.  In other words: fun for everyone!

Hilary Clinton (Senator)

Wife of our former Prez, Hilary is outspoken and dynamic. However, the only reason she would be selected for the house is for the opportunity to place her in the same vicinity as Coulter. They would likely become mortal enemies and engage in what could be the Greatest Catfight in the History of Mankind.

Scott (My Friend)

The ultimate competitor.  Trust me on this.

George Carlin (Comedian)

One of the best stand-ups of all-time, Carlin grows more and more bitter as the years pass. With all the other personalities in the house sure to be offensive to Carlin's senses, the rage that will surely erupt could be epic. His head might explode.

Beyonce Knowles (Singer), Natalie Portman (Actress), Jessica Alba (“Actress”)

No explanation necessary.

Final Two Prediction:

Ichiro and Carlin form a Good Cop/Bad Cop alliance and outsmart everyone, then agree to split the grand prize of $80 million (splitting of money is allowed on Big Brother 8).

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